IN-N-OUT Blues

Once upon a time I lived on the East Coast. I always knew I'd move back to California eventually so I did not miss too many things Californian--the one exception being the Double-Double cheesburger from In-n-Out Burger. Anybody not raised in Southern California finds it hard to understand the fanatical following that this particular burger joint has inspired over the 58 years it has existed. When I would try to explain the pleasure of eating a Double-Double to my east coast friends, they would inevitably try to one up me by saying something along the lines of, "yeah, we have a place like that too--Whitecastle." It was then that a flash of red would wash over my vision, and I'd take a deep breath and tell myself they simply do not understand.
Once while living in NYC I received a UPS notice at the beginning of a long weekend. I figured whatever it was it could wait until after the weekend. It turned out it couldn't. I trekked deep into Hell's Kitchen to retrieve said package four days later. Apparently one of my California friends had sent me a Double-Double. Unfortunately it did not survive the late summer heat of the UPS werehouse, and I was told it caused quite a stink before they figured out what it was and threw it away--unceremoniously no doubt.
Later that year I got back to my apartment after several cocktails and there was a package on my bed. A different friend had sent me a Double-Double via express mail. Booze compelled me to eat 1/4 of it before I realized it wasn't exactly fresh. Nevertheless, I savored those bites!
I went vegetarian once for 6 months. That is until an apres-ski stop at In-n-Out forced me to reconsider my new diet.
Another time we were returning from Tahoe and a discussion about the best fast food burger broke out. One of the guys in the car who claimed he was a huge fan of In-n-Out convinced us that there was an even better burger to be had. We stopped to try it--some joint called Murder Burger in Davis. Shredded lettuce was the first clue that I'd been had. The only person I wanted to murder after eating there was the guy who suggested the stop.
On several occasions in many parts of the world I've been out running in my In-n-Out t-shirt and heard an approving, "In-n-out, yeaah that's what a hamburger's all about...!" from over my shoulder.

So now that I've established my In-n-Out street cred, I'll point you to a very troubling article from the Washington Post today. It seems that there's some internal strife at the closely held burger chain. The 23 year old grandaughter of the founders who is also the sole heir of the business wants to change the menu. Or if you ask her, the Board of Directors wants to change the menu. Either way that's heresey plain and simple.

Somebody should remind both parties that the best custodian of a successful institution is the person that simply keeps their hands off.